So this is a topic that I always find myself saying I’m not going to worry about, then finding myself worrying, and googling, and driving myself mad over it. It’s a constant game of “This is the day I won’t google that,” and then I find myself on google hours later.
So what topic am I talking about?! The ever so popular, wondering if your child is hitting milestones, or doing/not doing something they should or shouldn’t be doing topic.
This is a topic that still plagues me to this day wondering if Cameron is where she should be in regards to other kids her age. Then I remind myself that every child is different and I really shouldn’t compare Cameron to anyone else.
Cameron showed us early on that she was going to do things by her rules. Case in point that she decided to arrive three weeks ahead of schedule. And she’s been on her own schedule and timeline ever since. At first, I was constantly staring at those milestone charts, then calling my mom, or friend, or doctor about why I wasn’t seeing Cameron doing this or that. And every well check visit we would be asked a series of questions of things that she could do, and I would feel like a failure every time I had to say no. The doctor kept reassuring me that everything was normal and she would do it when she was ready, and sure enough shortly after each and every appointment, whatever it was I was worried about she would start doing. It’s like she was just trying to prove to us all that we are living by her rules in her world.
Then there are the times I would take to google, ask a question, perform a search about something I was seeing or not seeing and the results would freak me out. It’s this or that, well that’s early signs for this or that. So I would tell myself to stop looking things up because I knew every situation was different. But then sure enough I would be back on google freaking myself out the next day.
I will say, that as a parent, you do know what is normal for your child. For Cameron, as much as I was concerned for her, I did keep trying to tell myself that she always reached her milestones a bit later than the articles said she should. But she’s hit all the things she should be doing by now, with the exception of talking. Now she has her own little language, and the doctor said that you can clearly tell she is communicating with us, we just have not gotten her to use the words we’ve been teaching her and practicing with her. I still worry every day, but I think that’s part of the job of being a parent. You will worry about your child regardless of what is going on in life. Is she happy and healthy, yes, and right now that’s all that matters to us. We will keep practicing, and helping her along where we feel she may need it, but this child is just as stubborn as both her parents, so I need to tell myself to stop worrying so much because when she starts doing what we want her too she does it with so much force we wonder why we were pushing for it so badly. Case in point, with walking, she started walking about 15 months old, and before she was we wanted her to walk so badly. Now she does and it’s so hard to keep up with her. So be careful what you wish for.
We all have that mothers/fathers/parental instinct. We know what works best for our child, and when we let google dictate what we think our child should already be achieving it’s enough to drive you nuts and make you feel like you aren’t being a good parent. But I’ve learned that listening to the doctor and if they don’t seem concerned that it’s ok to cut yourself a little slack. We are all different, kids are all different, so just keep doing the best you can for them and they will thrive when they are good and ready.
