I know I can’t be alone when half the time I’m parenting I feel like I have no clue what I’m doing, or that I’m screwing up in some way, or I’m not the best mom I could be, or that I’m doing something wrong.
I know at the end of the day, as long as Cameron and I are alive and have made it through the day it can’t be that bad. But it’s hard to not have those mom struggles or feel that mom guilt that is always lingering in the back of my mind.
Here are some of my top struggles. I just keep try to take everything one day at a time. We are all still learning and every day is a new one.
Mom guilt. This is a top one for me. I constantly am feeling guilt if I need to leave Cameron or if I want to go do something that she can’t do or wouldn’t enjoy. Wanting to have a night out, or a weekend away, or have a drink or two are things that always make me feel the most guilt. I know that I signed up to be a mom and Cameron should forever and always come first, but I also feel that being able to take some time alone is a good thing too so to not get to burnt out. But when I need to ask my mom, or a babysitter to watch Cameron so I can go do something I always just feel like since I’m a mom all of that should have to stop.
Keeping calm during tantrums. I’ll admit this is a hard one for me because I like to think I’m so level headed. But there have been occasions where Cameron has been having a tantrum, it hasn’t been the best day, and I lose my cool. I snap at her, or am not as nurturing as I should be, and once the tantrum is over and she has calmed down I feel terrible on how I acted towards her. She’s a toddler and is learning how this world works and I need to realize that sometimes and try to be more understanding that if I’m having a bad day, she may be too. And since she can’t communicate as well at the moment, tantrums is how she knows to tell us she’s not happy.
Being there/active. This one gets me because I want to be the best mom I can for Cameron. When I can’t play with her 24/7 due to work, or chores, or errands, I feel like I’m failing her. I do try and read, color, play with her but there are some instances I have to turn on the TV, or hand over the tablet to entertain Cameron and when I do that the guilt comes creeping back up that I’m not giving her everything I can. Or when I’m run down, overtired, and under the weather trying to give my very best sometimes is quite the 100% I wish it was.
Eating properly. We have hit that toddler stage where Cameron is being a bit more picky or selective with what she wants to eat. When she wants only French fries, or only fruit for a meal it’s hard to not feel discouraged that she isn’t getting all the nutrients she needs or the calorie intake. Now, I’m not a complete health nut, but I do try to eat as best as I can and I want that for Cameron too, but at the same time I want to pick my battles and want to believe as long as she’s eating something it can’t be all that bad as long as I do try to balance out the junk from the good.
I know there is plenty more times and reason I struggle and/or feel guilty, but these are my top few. Do you ever struggle? Or feel guilty? What do you do to feel better?